Surviving Being Single Once Again

All of sudden you are a pair and now you are not. When I became a divorced mom and single again. Never thought I would ever meet anyone like my first husband. He broke my heart and trust in men.   It's a difficult step in the process of one's life. Men think that you're lonely and all I could think about was worrying about being able to survive and raising my son without negative judgement.

I came to St.Louis for a wedding and met my prince charming . I live in Florida and He in Missouri. We met once a month one each other's home. And fell in lust and love.  He was 13 years older, a lawyer (first husband was a lawyer)  and had two boys. I had a 3 year old son. Could we make it work. I met him in June and Married him in January.  It was magic.  It was hectic. It was very trying. It was a change. It was new. It was a huge move. It was stress. But it was the best choice.  Raising my son  in this hometown community.Never having to move again (except from a townhouse to a house). Keith had new brothers, new aunts and uncles, cousins and friends that he still has. I have lifetime friends .

When after 32 years became a widow. It was depressing. Feeling lost. And learning how to really survive.
Dating is not for me. I seem to like my dog better than my past dates.  The other night I went to a wedding reception by myself. It was tough going and leaving but I did it.  Do I like being single not really but than again it's the first time in my entire life that I am living alone(except for my dog) . No meals to cook unless I am having company. I do cook for Charlie my dog. I hate cleaning and at times it shows. But I have been running my household by myself. I miss decisions working with a companion. But I plan to make it. When I was divorced I cried a lot and wondered what had I done wrong. My mom Lee was strong woman and she told me you have a son to raise and you can do this. Depend on only you and you will survive. You have no choice you need to stand and do it. And you never did anything wrong.  So for women are afraid to face it. You are going to make it. You learn to barter ( I did for babysitting) but that's another chapter.

Harmony is  where I am going to achieve!!!

I HATE CLEANING MY HOUSE!!!!

I hate cleaning my house because it takes forever. I am one of those characters that have to clean one room at a time. If company shows up at the door -trash bags come out and i throw everything in to one and sought it later that evening.  I collect books and cookbooks and ceramic frogs(rewaiting for my prince)  and tea cups  and tea and..........................................the list can go on.

Now I am downsizing and realize wow do I have so much things.  I don't want to get rid of it all - just a little.
One chapter of my life has closed and new chapter is opening.  I don't like the word widow so I have just accepted MS.

Life is like a mountain- you start climbing and there you are looking out at the top and wonder what is next. I used the words roller coaster - every turn changes and never sure what to expect. I am in my golden years which 60 is the new 40 and not sure which direction I am headed. I expect to work till at least 75, I expect to coexistence with at least two dogs. I am not a grandmother since none of my boys have children- their choice.  I have wonderful great nieces and nephews and extended friends that have become my family. I doubt I will remarry again.

The word Normal is not me. And I don't know anyone that is normal anyway. We all have our little non perfections. I still love to cook and bake. I love to entertain guests at my house. I love to garden, I love watching tv and going to the movies. I love walking in the parks. I love being with children.   I love being with my friends and family.

I hate trying to lose weight. I hate painting my house or anywhere else. I hate ironing but like ironed shirts and pillowcases.  I hate cleaning leaves up. I hate ice roads. I hate cleaning out the refrigerator. I hate cleaning out the basement and finding unusual creatures.


I like washing my car. I like watering my flowers and plants. I love watching  things grow. I walking in light rain. I love walking on the beach. I love sitting and watching lighting in the sky. I love listening to music. I love  concerts in the park. I love watching my watching children play baseball and soccer.

I hate cleaning my house~

Terri

Brunch and Sip Champagne !!! Recipes included

Brunches are easiest way to entertain.  There's Champagne with Orange juice but these days I like cranberry juice in the champagne. I welcome my guests with a smile and give them their choice of champagne. Bagels, cream cheese and Blintz and more. Entertain with ease.  Brunches are great because it's a breakfast /lunch which is relaxing with friends /family-just like a simple time together.  

Blintz soufflé

1 pkg cheese blintzes defrosted)   ½ cup sugar      ¼ lb butter   ½ teaspoon salt

4 eggs well beaten             1 ½ sour cream    ¼ cup sugar

2 teasp.  almond extracts 2 teaspoons orange juice

 Melt ¼ lb butter in 2 quart casserole and place blintzes over butter in one layer.  Blend other ingredients with well beaten eggs and pour over the blintzes. Bake 45 minutes in 350 oven or until top starts to brown

serve with powdered sugar, strawberries, raspberries or sour cream

For variety replace 1 pkg cheese with 1 pkg fruit blintz. I usually use cherry or apple.

Jello Mold

2 pkgs  strawberry Jello 1 8oz cream cheese , 1 frozen pkg strawberries, 1 tablespoon of sour cream 2 cups of water

1 can mandarin oranges  

Spray jello mold with Pam , boil 2 cups of water with jello and until water is at boiling point. Put in blender add cream cheese, add sour cream blend for 1 minute, add jello mixture,

Add package of strawberries and blend again for one minute. Drain oranges & add to mold first. Then pour ingredients from blender into jello mold and refrigerate over night. Serve next day

Enjoy

Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair!

My wonderful friend from High School -Marsha told her children about the time I put Mayonnaise on my hair. I thought I forget that era but when visiting her a few years back - her kids told me the story about what I  did. As all teenage girls we experimented with color and shampoos and  conditioners on our hair.

My grandmother use to collect rain water(there was no smog or chemicals in the air)  to wash her hair in. My mother said put beer in your hair it conditions it. We put avocados on our face (we had a tree) as a facial which is still used today.   Another beauty use is  egg whites on your face will tighten your lines and wash off with warm lemon water(l lemon squeezed into warm water) with a cloth. My mother had no wrinkles and beautiful skin. These were some of her secrets. Never Never use any kind of soap on your face. Cold cream only to take off make up and clean your face in the morning with.  Tea bags in ice water with ice cubes to relax your eyes lids and take out  the puff in eyes.  I like  cold cumbers on my eyes too.  With all the creams and conditioners and facials out there -sometime the old ways are best.  Night cream for my mom was cold cream to until later years -she liked  Lauder products.

Now about the Mayonnaise - the instructions I read in a beauty magazine said 1/2 cup -so i did. Left it on for about 1/2 hour or more. It wouldn't wash out. I poured beer on it -no good.  I added vinegar-it got worse. I tried Ivory soap-no good. I tried detergent no good. Dish detergent no way. Marsha was with me when I did this and she couldn't stop laughing..So I went to school the next day and got the name salad dressing all day and I think all week because I surely smelled like salad dressing. What came about in our conclusion is that the beauty magazine meant 1/4  or 1/2 of a table spoon and not a 1/2 cup. To this day - I don't like Mayonnaise or the smell of it.  

The Art of Arguing

 How many people has a person argued with?  I never thought that I argued much but lately my friends have told me I argue a great deal.   I always felt that my son who argued( or disagreed  or debated ) with me had  received this gene from his dad. But as I look back at my life - he might of just gotten  that gene from me.

I was the wild child of my family. My sister was the perfect student, the beautiful one, the popular girl,etc etc etc according to my parents. On the other hand I was in constant trouble. I believe environment has much to do with how we turn out. There are really no bad people -it's the influence around us that changes who we become. My sister grew up with our grandparents on my mom's side. And I grew up as a latch key child as both my parents worked. At 10 I was babysitting . I was also cooking at an early stage in life.  

I argued with my biology teacher in high school and was thrown out of class. But I went to summer school at a different high school and pulled an A in the class. I loved summer school because it was six weeks long and I took  2 to 3 subjects that were required.  During my school year I took the electives. Typing was probably the best class I took because it is the one  class I use every day. My school years will be another chapter .

Do we argue because we need to or because we have to. Is arguing really a form of debating?
Or is it an opinion?  The dictionary says to put for reasons for or against debate. To attempt to prove by reasoning. To engage in a quarrel. I married Lawyers. My first husband - we went to college together and married young(it was time when you couldn't live with them) and my second husband was also an attorney and  Traffic Judge.  So I continued to learn to argue with them. I listened to them arguing with either me, our kids or their courts.

As a coach I argued with parents and umpires(until I became an umpire). I argued with my kids on which part of no don't you understand. I still debate or argue when time arises.
It is part of us to do so and maybe we don't realize we are doing it.   Syn: argue,bicker,contend, quarrel,fight,quibble,squabble,tiff,wrangle  and to engage in a verbal exchange expressing conflicts of opinions.    I think everyone does this at least once or twice or.........................................!!!!!!
If you have not argued,quarreled, quibbled, bickered or engaged in a debate let me know? 
Because if you have not - I would like to know why. And what perfect world do you live in?

Barbara

My friend Barbara and I share shopping for bargains(she is better than me).  We share the love of food! Both are trying to diet  but we love hot fudge sundaes from Ted Drews a local creamy  for frozen custard. 

We love gambling together  and doing adventures that get us into trouble!  She loves garage sales  and finds me bargains.She loves shopping at stores for sales. I love using coupons.  We are opposite in so many ways but that's why we are friends. I would trust  her with my life and she trust me with hers. Her family has adopted me and my dog.

 Losing my husband to cancer was a difficult time for me and she was my only friend that knew he was sick. Keeping his illness from friends his and mine was very difficult. Only our immediate  family knew of Joe's illness. Barbara knew and kept his secret. She helped take him to appointments. She has stood by me in the best of times and the worst of times. Her dream is to be on the Ellen show on her birthday December 4th.  My dream is to stay healthy and not worry so much.And try to make her dream come true!

We are different religions and different politics  but we trust each other! We are like  little girls our secrets will always remain within our hearts.  Barbara is my sister friend. She knows so much about me and yet not everything.  No one should know everything about me - where would be the surprise  but she does know my fears and my goals and my laziness too! 

Spring into a Easy Dessert

Spring Recipe to start with now! Triple Recipe  

1 prepared angel food cake (13 oz)   1 lime

1 qt. fresh strawberries                       2 cups thawed frozen whipped

1 cup raspberries                                2-   8  oz  Key Lime Flavor yogurt

1 cup  blueberries

1 cup blackberries

Cut cake into 1-in. cubes set aside. Hull fresh strawberries and cut into

quarters. Set aside ½ cup raspberries  and ½ cup of the blueberries for garnish. combine remaining berries -mix well. Remember to wash and dry all berries.  

Juice lime using  to measure 2 tbsp juice. In Mixing Bowl, whisk yogurt,

 lemon juice until smooth using Whisk; immediately fold in 1 cup of the

whipped topping.

To assemble trifle, place one-third of the cake cubes into Trifle Bowl. Top with one-third 

mixture  pressing down lightly. Top with one-third of the yogurt mixture,

spreading evenly. Repeat layers two times, spreading last layer evenly  using a Spreader to create a

flat surface.

To garnish,  with remaining  raspberries and blueberries .Refrigerate for 1 hour or over night.

ready to serve.

Yield: 16 servings

  

You can use this recipe with pound cake and other flavored yogurts. I like the lime as it gives it a zing!

Today is April 29th 2013.   Baseball and Softball season is upon us. I once coached with one of the best woman coach in St.Louis. We were team and I think we improve kids lives by being their coach.

 I began coaching long before I moved to St.Louis. I started with a law league that was my former husband(college life- we couldn't live together so we married)  and than when I moved to  Missouri  and my son was in first grade- I discovered how ruthless and mean men coaches are.Back in those days I was much thinner and better looking.  I put down to be an assistant coach but I was told my commissioner it would be better to be the coach.  So I recruited my sitters who had both been on teams .  I had to pick my team by the names on the board . The men that supposedly helped me in the draft  lied to me about it all and were not gentlemen on the field. After losing 11 games out of 12 I made a pack with myself that this would never happen again. One of my  sitter coaches Laura made a list of all the good players and their skills when playing our team. My other sitter David taught me about soccer too.  Both sitters were on their high school teams.

I contacted all leagues to find out if there were any coaching clinics. I signed up for all and learned so much from the top coaches in the community. I attended all classes all winter. I was coached in recruiting, teaching techniques for batting, sliding and all aspects in Little League. I learned about a draft and how to make a comeback with comments from other coaches.  I sent my son  to soccer and baseball camp. I went to select team drafts to watch coaches from my classes in action. And they in turn coached me. Never had I experienced such enthusiasm to teach me. Teams should be fun but this was work and I was going to prove to myself that I wasn't going to lose 11 games again out of 12. 

This time I signed up as a Coach.  I watched the 2nd graders try out for the draft. My son wasn't rated high but that was okay- he was also prepared to play ( they went by my scores the year before) . Only one coach could be in the draft - you pick your assistants after the draft. I let all the same coaches from the year before put all the top players on the board( I was prepared I had my notes).We picked numbers out of a hat to see when we could do our pick and lucky for me I picked number 1. So I picked a player  that was rated high.

I was informed with one of my  colleagues that was his neighbor and they coach together. I said he either plays for me or he doesn't play.The bickering went on but it was resolved that I got the player. I was told he won't play for me and my reply was - if he doesn't play for me - he won't play this year for anyone. And than the war began. 1,2,3,4........ All the coaches whose son's or daughters were on the board as top players had to pick their child in the first round. Needless to say I ended up with 4 girls and 8 boys.  I than called the parents that night to recruit assistant coaches.  My first pick's father told me point blank that his son wasn't going to be on my team and my response was he won't play this summer at all. I had called all the leagues  and the coaches that had helped me about what happened.   It turned  out that the father became my assistant coach as well as 2 other fathers . We had great practices and a wonderful team. My parents were worried about me but that began my coaching career(also commission of sports,umpiring and working on many boards for kids in sports). Our team beat all the teams and we had perfect win record.  Over the years I got into soccer and  co-coached with other coaches. Later after my son went on  to 7th grade - I took a team again in 2nd grade with my friend Margie and we coached kids together for several years ( had select teams). Sometimes I even see some of my former players-   Being a commissioner in sports is another story. TERRI  Love to Play- Love the game! It should always be fun!